Thanks for all your warm thoughts and prayers.

I am taking a few days off before the next release begins. It will be a much needed break.

Alexa has bad allergies-or so I am told. Not sure yet how I feel about that diagnosis. She has been congested for some time and on all sort of other stuff that seems useless. We will see. I’m keeping my eye on her for now.

As for family life-Court on Monday was a HUGE emotional roller-coaster and waste of time.

 Her husband’s new lawyer wasn’t ready to plea his case for the endangerment hearing so it was continued till POSSIBLY Monday. Yes-possibly. His lawyer was “too” busy to even confirm he can show up that day so it will be a last minute notice!! Me living about 2 hours from court, that stinks to have to wait till the last minute! I need to be there for my mom, and don’t want to have to RUSH. I have such anxiety each time when I’m NOT rushed, let alone when I am.

My poor mother has to keep going through all these court appearances and its getting ridiculous. Every time we go it sets her back emotionally, and plays out on her physically. I can see why women choose to NOT testify because it is so drawn out and difficult to keep going over everything over and over again.

I don’t know WHY you need SO MANY various court dates for every little thing! Its not wonder the courts are always backed up! We wasted several hours in court for NOTHING on Monday. Family member took time out of work, not to mention TAX PAYER $$ to transport him for the jail where he was to superior court! Why can’t they consolidate stuff and get it together. Who needs like 6 to 8 dates to make a decision. Every little thing needs a court date, and every time she has to tell someone her story over and over again. Or go through seeing him in shackles and wondering how it will go. We ALL lose sleep I’m certain.

Monday she will have a choice as to whether or not she will want to testify against him, in order for them to decide if they should hold him until his trial (which can be set for anywhere between a few months to years away). She is getting worn down, and can’t take much more. She needs to continue this. I know she can do it.

 Sorry its a long vent but this last trip really affected my mother and I’m doing my best to convince her she needs to keep plugging forward, and that she CAN do this. Its heart-wrenching for her, and then me to watch her endure the pain. I know how “I” feel when we are sitting there awaiting him to be called in, I can only imagine how much worse it is for her.

This time in court he made eye contact with her and looked at her in a way to suggest “I’m sorry”. Last time we went to court he was ANGRY and glared and her and even GROWLED at her! It was a horrible thing. It did make it easier for her to KNOW she is doing the right thing. But after his puppy face….long story short she feels bad for him, and conflicted about what to do.

 I’m not saying it was easy seeing the exchange, but she needs to keep her focus on what happened. This wasn’t a one time thing either. There was a build up of violence and this event could have been far worse had she not begged for her life. She knows he is dangerous and is still so very afraid of him, yet the part of her that loves him can’t bear to speak an ill word against him. If he had actually killed her, all the I’m sorry looks in the world wouldn’t hold a drop of water with me. I wish I could jump in her body for her and testify.

I think he is sorry for HIM. Not HER. Sorry he is caught. Sorry he has to possibly serve time for his actions. He viewed this situation (as does his family) as my mother’s fault. If she didn’t call the police he could be free. If she could have only kept her mouth shut (those are others words, not mine) Now he has to pay for what he did. You know after he attacked her he went out with his brother to a Flea Market, then to a friends house, laughing anf joking like nothing ever happened! CRAZY.

 I just pray my mom keeps sight of the reality. Think with her head, not her heart. He has no love for her. If he did he would never have abused her in any manner.

I could go on and on. Anyway, just an update for those of you wondering.