Last night we did have dinner with my father.
It went well. My dad is looking well. Last time I say him he looked awful, but this time he looks much more healthy.
It was bittersweet seeing him again. Makes me very sad. Jason thought I was going to have a meltdown, but I held it together. Its hard to see him. I have gone on to accept him for WHO is is, not who I think he should be. It’s a hard thing to do, but after so many years I don’t expect much. I’m trying to have that mentality with many people in my life.
I look just like my mother my dad says, so I think its hard for him to see me. I know he misses my mom, and still loves her. It’s like looking at my mom when she was my age for him. Im sure it brings waves of raw emotion for him.
Here we are at dinner. I really wanted to get some nice photos since I have NONE of my father. Who knows when I will see him next.
Here is a family shot
From left ot right- my brother Rob, my dad, me, Jay
bottom-Noah, Alexa & Amber
The kids were a little unsure of him, but by the end of the night were OK with talking to him. He is after-all a stranger to Noah and Amber. Alexa seemed to remember him a bit.
He promised the kids each a special book, and that got Noah very intrigued. Now I pray he follows through. I can see I am going to have to hunt down the Sponge Bob, Scooby Doo, Princess and Dora books that were promised. Noah thought my dad was pretty funny.
He did attempt to cancel our dinner, but my brother convinced him otherwise. My brother has a different relationship with my dad, as he is always seeking his approval. He doesn’t realize that will never happen, but he does go out of his way to try. Must be a father son thing, because I don’t get it.
My brother is so much like my dad its freaky.
I like this photo of them though.
Here they are together at dinner.
I still think of my brother as a little boy. I’m reminded he is not when I see he towers of me and my dad. I never thought I’d see the day!
Now that my brother is going to be a father I hope he chooses to be a good father and role model. It is so important.
Now here are a few a photos of the 3 of us
This one is blurry-sorry
Then the 3 of us with my brothers girlfriend Valerie
Now we have a nice photo of my brother and Valerie
Then one of Jay and I.
I NEVER wear my hair up when I go out somewhere, but it was a REALLY bad hair day! I hate when that happens. You got to the food store and your hair is amazing!! then you have somewhere you want to look good for and its a disaster! Awful.
OK now I DO have a card to share-
I made this for my brother to give to him. The sentiment ALWAYS reminds me of them
I know-everytime I think guy card I think Father Knows Best. Plus I already had it out! LOL! I used dark chocolate, and vintage cream with all golden accents-gold cardstock, and gold sheer metallic ribbon
I cut the tree into 3 pieces, and ran my edges with a gold pen. Its very shimmery in real life. The leaves are stamped then restamped for layering. I then spritzed some color on. PERFECT!
THE HUGE bummer is you can’t see my piercing! It came out really nice. Maybe if you scroll up to the top photo…………
Anyway thanks for sharing with me. I received MANY emails from yo who can relate. WOW!
Tomorrow is the 10th!! That means I have the first Countdown project for Papertrey Ink, and SOON you will see my next peek at the newest round of My Timeless Templates ©!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im beyond busy and excited prepping for that, along with the release.
Enjoy your day 😀
Later
40 Responses for "Dinner with dad"
Wow Lauren – those photos are great. You will always be glad you have them. My dad was an alcoholic too and I was touched by what you said about your mom being with him all those years yet still being “alone”. That describes my parents too.
Hugs,
Julie
it totally sounds like you are really hurting. I had an estranged relationship with my own father, who actually was my adoptive father, so it was really hard to be alone. Now after 31 wonderful years to my soulmate, I am once again alone. But my relationship with my father left me strong enough to survive being alone now. God has a purpose fro all things. I will pray for peach and understanding for you. I wish you wll. If you ever need to talk to a total stranger, which I find is easier than talking to a friend, you are welcome to email me. I have a wealth of personal experience and would be happy to cry with you and laugh with you. At churchh where I have a card ministry, they call me the “card counselor”. I am proud of that title. God bless you. Stay tough. You have a beautiful family. Thanks for sharing. Linda Crowder
Oh Lauren your story really touches my heart because it is my story too. My Dad chose the bottle over his family and then went on to ruin two more families. Then I married my wonderful husband and his Dad also loved the bottle more than his family. My brother unfortunately lives this life as well he chose not to marry and I am greatful for that.
I like you vowed to stop the cycle and be the best parent I could and my wonderful husband felt the same way. I have not seen or spoken to my Dad in 16 years. I sent him a letter when my dd was a year old letting him know how his behavior made me feel. I also asked him not to treat my dd the way he treated me and that he should be consistant in her life and that God was giving him another chance to make things right. Until this day my Dad has never responded to my letter I guess that WAS my answer.
I am older than you and hopefully God has blessed me with some wisdom over the years. I must tell you that you are wise beyond your years if you have figured out already that life is about your family (your dh and children) and nothing will ever be more important. I hope your Dad comes through for your children but it touches my heart that you are already prepared for the worst yet you don’t want your wonderful children to live the life you did.
In closing I must say that the pictures are so lovely and you are suce a great looking family. Isn’t it funny how on the outside it all looks so good but behind the scenes it is any thing but. May God bless you, your dh and your wonderful children. You are such a loving and kind spirit and always so willing to share and I thank you for that. Oh and I love the card.
Debbie/Phx AZ
Beautiful photos. Be strong & God Bless.
I am so glad the dinner went ok. It doesn’t matter how old we are the hurt is still what we felt as children. I hope your Dad follows through with his promised books as you will be really hurt if he slights your children as you have always felt slighted by him. The pictures are beautiful. I thought your brother looked exactly like you and you like your Mom abut seeing your Dad I can see some resemblance to him in both you and your brother. Give yourself a hug girl and have a great week maybe now your house guests have a car you will get some of that much needed time for yourself. Hugs Ann Lind
You are a bigger person than I. Just looking at the beer in front of your father made me want to leap across the screen and knock it over. God bless you and your wonderful attitude. I’m sure this was very difficult. I guess that’s all I’ll say! (hugs)
Lauren, I’m glad dinner went well. I sure hope your dad follows through and your brother is a good dad to his children as well. Hugs my friend for you for your pain your dad has caused you all of these years.
Lauren, you amaze me with your strength. Your family is so blessed to have you in their lives. You have such a big heart and wonderful spirit, thank you for sharing so much of yourself. Might I add you are talented to….(smile).
Looks like you managed to get some really nice photos. I’m glad dinner went well and that card is awesome!
Your pictures are great. I hope you will do some layouts with them and share with us. Your card is just beautiful and love the sentiment. You have such a sweet and special heart.
I was thinking of you all day yesterday. I’m glad it went well for you. Hopefully, I can get to a “good place” with my father one day.
It was fun seeing all your pictures and sharing the day with you.
Your card is really nice too, btw.
Hugs to you,
Renee
What a gorgeous family! I love all the pictures!
What great pictures!! I can really relate to your situation. I have been told that it makes us stronger, so keep up with what you are doing. Good luck. May God bless you and your family.
Those pictures you will cherish for a lifetime, they are so beautiful & so are you inside & out. If only we could pick out our family, but we can’t & I think you handled it well.
I luv your card, awesome job, luv how you cut & placed them on the card!
May God be with you and your family, I know you hurt.
Pictures are absolutely priceless, beautiful family..
Lauren, LOVE the new blog photo! And the pictures of your family. Really sweet post – great card, too.
im constantly amazed how even as adults and parents some people don’t have enough sense to treat their kids right. What an important job we have!! May you be blessed for your desire (and obvious success) to be a wonderful mom. your little family is so cute and what a blessing it is to have Jay as a strong role model for the kids. AND your hair looked lovely up too!!!
I’m so glad your dad came last night. Wonderful family pictures that you and your children will now have to reflect upon. Your are so gracious…..my mother always told me, ‘Cream rises to the top’….meaning…be the bigger and more gracious person. Your card is great too! Take care and thank you for sharing with us.
1 – AWESOME card. I love it.
2 – GREAT pics…you are a beautiful family
3 – Thanks for being you, and keepin’ it real 🙂
Looking forward to the PTI release!!
Im so glad things went well. Those picutures are beautiful. -Molly B
From a distance, sweet girl, I will say this:
1) Your hair is beautiful
2) Your father is a handsome man with a charming and warm smile, so somewhere he has that same sweet spirit you share with all of us. It’s okay to love just that and try to let the other things go as he gets older.
3) It looks like a lovely evening, and if none of us knew the courage it took, we’d say it looked like a group of people really enjoying each other’s company.
Thanks for sharing. An uplifting post.
Lydia
http://www.understandblue.blogspot.com
Silly Rabbit!
1) You look BEAUTIFUL! So I don’t know WHAT you are taking about”bad hair” (my hair always looks good the day I go to get it cut, the day before it of course was a nightmare).
2) We can see the paper piercing just fine, and it is lovely.
I am so glad your dinner went well! I hope this is the beginning of a fresh start.
Best WIshes,
Meredith
Lauren, I’m so glad that your dinner went as well as it did. Those family relationships can be so complicated. I admire your positive, and healthy, attitude!
Dianna
Oh Lauren,
Families are so complicated, and your sounds the same. Great photos, just cherish the good moments you have. BEAUTIFUL photos and I love you with your hair up, so don’t worry about bad hair days,,,,because it looks great. You and Jason look great and congrats to your brother. hugs girl!
Lauren,
Your posts the last two days have left me in tears. My Dad died when I was 13, he drowned while we were living in Hawaii, while I stood and watched him fight the ocean waves. I have often wondered what is worse to live with a Dead Beat Dad or no Dad at all.
I think it must be worse to have a Dead Beat Dad, I really miss my Dad so much especially times like this reading about your Dad, but when he went to be with God things were good and I only have good memories of him although after almost 20 years those memories are fading more and more each year.
However a Dead Beat, or addicted Parent causes pain over and over again.
I think both are aweful and I wish we all could have good parents! This weekend at Church the whole weekend was Family weekend, and while we were unable to attend all the fun family events due to prior commitments today’s sermon really impressed even more than I already feel, how important it is to create that loving safe supportive environment for our children. I hope when my 3 – Piper 6, Willow 4, and Tucker 1 grow up they will not have these sad stories, I hope they can share how much their parents were there for them and supported them!
Not that they will think that as teen agers, but maybe by adult hood????
I am so sorry for the pain you have lived with Lauren, I hope things turn around somehow for your Dad, and your family life can include him more because he wants it too!
Hugs and Thoughts,
Heather
Gosh Lauren, your brother and you look so much alike. I’m glad your dinner with your father went so well. I pray that he wants all of you in his life more and gets sober. Wonderful photos! Thanks for shring them with us.
I think your card is gorgeous!
So glad you all were able to get together, great pictures and I think your hair up is very pretty.
Loved this card too, awesome guy card!
[…] being single. …Danwei – Media, Advertising, and Urban… – http://www.danwei.org/|||Dinner with dad21 hours ago Last night we did have dinner with my father. It went well. My dad is looking well. […]
beautiful pics! thanks for sharing part of your life with us!
Lauren,
Even though it was bittersweet, you will always have the pictures and the memories of that day not only for you, but for your kids. Your dad looks happy in the pictures, so he must have enjoyed being with you and your family. You look so beautiful. I love your hair up and you have a beautiful family. The card that you made for your brother to give couldn’t be more perfect.
Lori
Lauren, thanks for sharing your lovely family photos and I’m so happy the dinner went well.
Hugs to all! I am sure that was a very tough and emotional experience, and I too pray he follows through. It’s his loss Lauren, you and your family have much to offer!
I actually really liked your hair. And I just have to say WHAT wonderful skin you all have. Amazing! Is it something in the water or just good genes?
Am I the only one?
I think you and Valerie have very similar, beautiful smiles.
I am glad all went well and you have nice pictures to remember the evening.
Lauren I’m so glad you got to go out with your dad, that’s great of you. I had a similiar situation (alcoholic), my mom left my dad when I was 5 and I saw him a bit after that maybe till 9 then not so much at all. Saw him at both graduations but that’s it. Never had a conversation with the man. I always said that I would give myself away at my wedding and I was going to until the rehearsal dinner and there it was decided that mom would “give” me away. it was nice she is my best friend.
I feel like such a DORK!! You are so great at sharing your family with all of us that I actually got teary eyed looking at the photos. I know I’m a total freak. Isn’t it funny how we have to make a conscious effort to accept people for who they are and not who we want them to be?? That is a struggle that I face because I think everyone should be as wonderful and giving as I. LOL
Hugs,
Justine
Lauren,
I haven’t been to your blog in almost a year, but I still receive updates. I wanted to say a few things.
1. You are simply gorgeous. Stunningly beautiful…I never knew.
2. You are amazingly strong and I applaud you for “removing” yourself and family from your Father’s situation.
3. I am currently married to an alcoholic and it is harder than I ever imagined. I grew up with an alcoholic, and vowed I would NEVER expose MY children to that, and now here I am. I am not the “super mom” that your mom was, but I try so hard to shelter my children from my husbands issues. I am envious of you for “getting out”.
1- You should wear your hair up more often, you look great like that! 🙂
2- Your cards for your Dad are gorgeous, (as always 😉 )
3- I am lucky enough that I never lived a situation like the one you have with your Dad, but I can certainly understand your reactions, your reserve, and the fear of being disappointed for your kids like you were as a kid… 🙁 It’s a tough situation and I think you are making the most of it and handling it the best you can. ((((hugs))))
Lauren.
I know that must have been hard for you to tell all your viewers your life story with your father, however, as you can see that you have touched so many people that they are wanting to reach out to you as well. My story is not the same but i was adopted and always felt like 2nd best. I am glad that you had a nice reunion with your father and it looks as if you have a wonderful family and brother/girlfriend close to hold onto. Cherish those moments.
Thanks for sharing your awesome projects.
Wonderful pictures.
Your hair looks “Great”
You are a strong and caring person…
and a Fabulous “MOM”
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