Something every woman needs to know!
Now get that dirty mind of your’s out of the gutter.
I’m talkin fake it,like you have spent the day stamping, but by the time your hubby comes home it looks like you spent it cleaning, and possibly even cooking!
I dont really cook much, but if I want to seem like I SLAVED I do a croc pot meal! Just throw some meat, sauce or whatever, and frozen veggies-cooks on low all day – hubby arrives-DONE!
Im am going to share my very best tips for “faking it” with you!
FIRST let me say, if your house generally looks like something exploded in it then this will NOT work for you! LOL!
Your house should in general-be in “order” as in not 8 piles of dishes, clothes everywhere, and so on.
Now I started cleaning and having a little OCD since 3 years old! My mom always made me clean. She would start me young on her “tips to looking like you have a clean house” since I can remember!
She owns her own cleaning company now, and is quite successful, so Im am so proud that she has taken something she does so well, and made a living for herself doing so. And NO she doesn’t FAKE it! lol! Shes a super cleaner!
You should clean well once a week! You only need max-2 hours if you plan on dusting, and staying on top of it will keep it cleaner looking, and the faking it part much easier! Plus, after the kids go to bed, do things that cut the chaos in the am down-like put away/fold laundry, put away dishes, layout clothes, pack lunches, have notes done, coffee ready to go-blah blah blah.
It really does help you start the day fresh and gets you ready to create!
OK so here it goes. All you need is about a 1/2 hour! We can all spare that now can’t we? So start 40 minutes before he comes home. Just in case……
You will do the “clean sweep”. Now, what this is, you go from door he will arrive through-then work your way from there through the house. This ensures that at least the begining will be ok for sure!
Now the clean sweep is when you pick up and move any items that do not belong, and put them where they do, as you go along! If neccessary take a basket! This will allow you to carry and deposit the items where they belong as you go. The idea to to work from ONE room to the other! Use your time effiecently! Not running room to room and back again.
Carry the windex and paper towels with you, and remove obvious fingerprints from mirrors, or glass surfaces! Clorox wipes or baby wipes are fabulous too!
KIDS-this is the hardest part! LOL! Ages 2 and up! Not YOU cleaning!
Ok if you have them-set a timer (for 20 minutes) and have them start cleaning up 45 min. before Dad gets home! Have them throw toys in their toy box or baskets. If you have multiple kids have each one take a room that their toys are messing up. DONT WORRY ABOUT THE UPSTAIRS! Only daddys immediate view!
REWARD with lollipops or other fun sugar filled snack before dinner! This works when you are desperate! TRUST ME! Tell them it has to be done before the timer goes off so there is time for the treat before dinner!
(TOLD YOU ONLY DESPERTE TIMES)
Hall 3 min
If you have one, make sure shoes are away or whatever funky thing you may have going on! If he wont be in your hall or see it then skip it!
Kitchen 10 min (if you have to wash the dishes)
If there are dishes-and you have a dishwasher HIDE them in there! If not you may have to take 5 min and wash them! Fill the sink, then RUN!
Take care there are no fingerprints on the stoves, and the counters are quickly wiped down.
Go do the dishes LAST!
Bathroom- 5 min tops
pull shower curtain closed, empty barrel, clean mirror,sink, and sink top. flush tiolet-throw in some AJAX-quick brush clean-flush again.
LAUNDRY-LEAVE it in the dryer! He wont even know its in there!
Living room 3 min
-straighten cushions, windex glass tables and tv screen.
QUICK vaccuum! I mean quick-just suck up anything visible! If neccessary Swiffer your kitchen and hall floor. Makes a huge difference! 5 min
RUN through the house spraying with that lovely smelling Febreeze!
DONE! This is also great for last minute guests!
Now you cant do this everyday! Just once a week or so!
AGAIN we arent being super picking. We want the clean look FAST! MOST guys dont notice when we miss a “spot”. They are just thankful to be done work.
Time yourself and try it! I swear it works 😀
39 Responses for "Do you know how to fake it?"
You crack me up! I have to say I’ve faked it before myself!
Got to try this! Some awesome ideas… Thanks
Oh lauren you totally crack me up…………….My mom cleaned all the time, and she always had a clean house, albeit that she never had 3 children close in age, I am 8 years older then my brother, and and 13 yrs. older then my sister…………Myself I have now a 13 almost 14 yr old, and 10 yr. old twin boys………….when they were young, I use to dread my days, because my mom and dad lived so close, they came everyday at any time of the day………..LOL My house was utter chaos…………..Hence now I have learned the so called art of “faking it”. I truly believe everyone should know how to do this, especially if you have children in school, you work, and you try to be “stampy” LOL Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and for the laugh tonight!!!
Oh girl, I can fake it with the best of them… my only suggestion: a Roomba! My robotic vacuum cleaner is my very best friend, and money VERY well spent. Plus, my 11 month old is fascinated by it, so she’ll stay in her paypen and not fuss while I’m running around “cleaning” up. LOL!
I am cracking up! And I certainly have done this….but it doesn’t hurt to get those reminder tips. LOL
ROFL! You sound like me! I am a neat freak. I do the once or twice a week GOOD cleaning and the rest of the time I just do the pick up, dust or a quick vacuum. I’d rather spend 20 to 30 minutes a day making the house look nice then HOURS on a weekend when I’d rather be doing family things. I am lucky though, I only have one little gremlin to look after 😉
Lauren – this is hysterical…informative, useful, and hysterical…especially the timer with the kids part…I actually knew where you were going with that one. Thanks for the chuckle…I think I’ll have to start doing this when I’m on maternity leave, since Nick is home before me these days 😉
I have been doing this for a while now! So this is what you call “Faking It”! You crack me up!
So true about the dryer. He never knows there still is laundry!! Thanks for the laugh!!
Oh, I do this all the time. Hubby thinks I am so on top of it with a full time work at home job, two kids, and a clean (well in his eyes) house! haha! This is so hilarious though! Thanks for the laughs. Glad I am not the only one!
You are so stinkin’ funny! I love this post. Great tips too! Mimi
Not only are you a super creative person, but you’re a version of the Fly Lady, too! Since your house always looks fab, I should try this! Thanks for the laugh. Lauren!
Lauren –
May have to give this a try if I can ever get the room where the bomb exploded cleaned first! Organizing is my hardest thing – especially when I’ve run out of places to put things. Thanks for the tips!
I am laughing out loud!!! I might try to print out your “time table” and give it a whirl! You are too cute!!! Have fun with the birthday parties and give Alexa, Noah and Amber a kiss from Emma!!
This is too freakin’ funny! Luckily, my husband seems to have lower standards than yours! LOLOL!
Cute, Lauren. Plus, there are some really good ideas in there!!
Great tips! I do have to fake it from time to time and some of your tips should give me a few extra minutes of stamping time 🙂
You’re awesome!
Teresa
You are so funny! Did Jason read this? If he did, your secret is out.
I love you! I’m right there with you. I know exactly what time my guy will arrive home and 1/2 hour before that I do the quick run through the house. And if I happen to be in my office when he arrives I can see him first through the window and scoot into the kitchen to look like a great wife when he comes in. Now I think he may have caught onto some of this but it still makes me smile thinking I pulled one over on him! Thanks for sharing!
Geez… hopefully Jason doesn’t “READ” your blog or your secret is out!! 🙂
Great tips!! It is amazing what a few minutes of running threw the house with cleaner and a basket can do. Kirsten often says to me “wow.. ma, you clean really really fast” Now that your house is clean…. go stamp girl…..
Lauren, this is just too funny. Better make sure Jason doesn’t read this post. Love the timer bit. May have to try that with my teens, they’re almost as bad as the under 5 crowd. Make a bigger mess, and slower to clean it up.
These are great ideas and I will take your advice, not only to please my man but also so I don’t feel so bad for trying to igore that I have housecleaning to do in the first place like I usually do! ha ha ha. I need to quit dreaming of that day when I’m planning on just hiring a maid. 🙂
ROFLOL! This is too funny. I swear I could not do all this in 30 minutes though. Maybe just the downstairs…hmmmmmm.
Hilarious! I LOVE your tips for keeping a clean house! I’m definitely going to try it out! Thanks for sharing!
ohmigosh, this is about the most practical thing I’ve ever read on a blog! I’m trying it out later this week. 😉 You rock, Lauren!
Very funny! I will not let Marc read this post! I have done this more than a few times! In fact, this may be happening today!
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OMGosh this is great! Yep I am a great faker although the whole dinner thing often escapes me and we won’t eat until later but he is ok with that or better yet we are both ok with RESERVATIONS for dinner it is my most favorite dish! LOL! I can eat it all week long!
ROTFL! Ahh, not only do we share the same birthday, same kids name (Alexa) and same likes (umm lobster on our bdays) but we think the same too 🙂 I do this on Tuesday and Friday so it does look like I did some things other than stamping! My other tip—buy a large basket that you can carry and do a pick-up of clutter and hide. You can put all that stuff away later, ha ha! Then we all look like superwomen, right! Have a great “toast” (wink) weekend!
hugz,
Suzanne Dean
That was supposed to be “toasty” in my post above, lol!
Oh my gosh! I have totally done this! Only it’s not as fun/funny when I do it and bribing the dog with treats doesn’t work as well.
Thanks for the “clean cheat” reminder! You rock! 🙂
Inky Smiles!
Erin
Such a great idea. Thanks for sharing your tips. I have to admit that I am not the best at keeping up with things so this will help a lot. TFS!!!
You are too funny! Thanks for the great tips : )
Oh my, this is exactly what I do…I call hubby and see what time he is coming home and then the countdown is on! Kids know, when I say Daddy will be home in an hour that I mean business, 🙂 I also LOVE my crock-pot, 🙂
Thanks so much, I love your blog and try to visit daily!~Melanie
Love it. When I get my house passable I will try this. If I could get my kids to play ball they are 18. 20,10 I am sure it would be easier
OMGosh! Love this! 🙂 ~Tori
I could have been the author of this post!!! Thanks for the good laugh…….. I needed it!!!
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